Day 4 - GB, Delta & Intuflow

Today, my training partner and my workouts diverged. With so many different training plans and so much input on how to combine them all and what to focus on, my brain reached the breaking point. I had to feel my emotions about what I needed to be doing, balancing effort with recovery.

The morning started out with me arriving to Gymnastics Bodies 5 minutes late (every minute counts in GB!). It's a new month, new training cycle. I felt strong and able as I moved through my prescribed training for the day. I got up into forearm headstand for the first time, and am quickly finding my equalibrium there, and I will be quickly testing out of V-Ups. Done, and DONE! On to our Tacfit training...

Let me start by explaining that my amazing training partner has a drive that is almost inhuman (or superhuman). I see her pushing herself, and can't help but feel I should push myself harder. This morning's training was a lesson in individuation. We each progress at our own pace, with our own strengths and weaknesses. I need to accept where I am at, without comparing myself to Charleen or any of the training programs. I had to remind myself that this is week one, and we are still trying to find our rhythm, and be sure we are training the right moves and muscles, and not over-training.

I chose to follow the Tacfit prep week one protocol for today, and did the Delta regression. Charleen did level one. Does that mean I cheated? Or does that mean she risks over training? Maybe both, maybe neither. Although we are training side-by-side, and I am with her through every workout, we will each need to focus our efforts in different areas, because we are different people. This is something I need to accept and embrace, and perhaps someday celebrate.

It's also that time of the year and that time of the month. I am feeling cranky, sore, tired, overworked and underpaid. My husband has been emotionally MIA due to school for so long I don't even believe him when he says I'm awesome or that he loves me. I can't seem to accept it. Who could love someone who is overweight due to her own poor food choices, and now so tired and cranky from this voluntary trial by fire? Boo frickin' hoo.

Comfort Food: Roasted pumpkin and sausage soup

But I train through it all, and eventually, my 'can do, must do' attitude will quiet the gremlin that tells me I'm never good enough for anything. Because I know that's just not true.

Tonight is prescribed Intuflow, but I feel like I need some yoga, too. I need to feel the flow and quiet the chatter. It may be yin yoga, as long as I get some 'mat time'. This weekend, I will be sitting down with the training programs I have now and my own thoughts of what I want to work on through this. If I am claiming this as my own training plan, I need to come from a center of what I really want. It's the only thing that will get me through the tough times, and I feel them coming.

"Don't plan to fail, plan to succeed."