Endurance Mills

I said it out loud yesterday, but it didn't sink in until today: 

We did about an hour and a half of work yesterday.

Then we did endurance Gymnastics Bodies today, along with 20 minutes of clubbell work today. I've been on a steady decline of energy since about noon. It's a tough time of year to keep my spirits up, so in some ways the distraction of actually being physically exhausted alleviated my nagging "you are a fat lazy slob" mental crap.

On the other hand, I've had some amazing flow breakthroughs practicing the mill, and I know that is directly due to my seasonal depression.

I know people use this word in common language, and I believe this feeling is understood differently for everyone. For me, it comes as a physical depression as well. I am literally fighting my depression back by getting into flow. And using the clubbells is getting me there more frequently and more effectively in other areas of my life as well. I am taking more baths, I am sleeping more (or trying). I'm actually listening to my body and it's helping me validate my natural instinct to slow down.

But as always, it's a delicate balance. Too little exercise and the emotional depression sets in, too much and my body shuts down. 

So, I listened to my tired, aching body and opted to roll out instead of doing my evening training, after a hot bath and early pajama night.